So very, very much.

Sometimes I feel there is a hole inside of me,
An emptiness that at times, seems to burn.
I think if you lifted my heart to your ear,
You could probably hear the ocean...

I have this dream of being whole.
I'm not going to sleep each night wanting but,
Still sometimes,
When the wind is warm and the crickets sing,
I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for.

I just want someone to love me.
I want to be seen.

I don't know.
Maybe I've had my happiness.

I don't want to believe it but,
There is no man...
Only the moon.

(Sally Owen, Practical Magic)

Read a love letter on a friend's blog. I had holidayed with this couple in Bangkok almost a year ago; it was also my last holiday with the bear. It's good to know that they are still together.

Reading his letter, I remembered how nice it was to have someone around, to share the good times and bad ones, to share one's life with, and sometimes, to discover the happiness and meaning that one had found lacking in one's life before. I also remembered how it was to love someone so very, very much that it hurt.

But I also wonder, if it's healthy to put so much of one's hopes and happiness on another person.

- - - - - - - - - -

Finally collected my graduate diploma. R was, as usual, all happy-happy-joy-joy for me, and insisted that I should "show and tell" to the boss, so that the latter could share my joy and be "proud" of me too.

Nah...

Other than the fact that I've always kept my colleagues (read: "colleagues", rather than "friends") at arm's length with regards to my personal life (especially my further studies, because the sad truth is that not all companies look upon such personal commitments favourably), I only need myself to be proud of me.

Anyway, haven't decided whether to frame up the diploma. Guess I should? I never did anything about my Bachelor -- it's still rolled up in the scroll case.